Grief Stages: a natural part of healing

Grief stages are something we all must go through when we lose someone or something we love. It's natural for us to go through a grieving process and its part of our bodies healing mechanism. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, introduced the concept of the grief stages.

Kubler-Ross said that when people deal with the loss of a loved one, they generally go through 5 stages, which are:

Stage 1: Denial. If you lack any feelings at all and think you are fine, you are in disbelief and denial. If you find yourself saying, "I am fine" or " this can't be happening" you are in denial. This stage is temporary and will eventually be replaced with another stage of greiving. (I'm sorry to give you the bad news but the grieving process has really just begun.)

Stage 2: Anger. In this stage you will feel anger. You will question why this has happened, or you may want to place blame somewhere. You may have feelings of rage, anger, or you may even want revenge.

Stage 3: Bargaining. In this stage you may try to make deals with God, or who or whatever you believe in, promising to change your ways in exchange for what you have lost.

Stage 4: Depression. You may not want to be around other people, do anything, or go anywhere. You might be feeling defeatist and believe that nothing is worth doing. You may cry alot in this stage, and that's a good thing. Tears are another way our body helps us heal.

Stage 5: Acceptance. You begin to accept your loss.You start feeling happier and become more social and want to be around other people again. This stage usually starts in short, infrequent spurts and becomes frequent and lasts longer as time goes on.

Not everyone goes through all 5 grief stages, and they are not done in order. You may go back and forth between several of then and then move on to another one, or skip one completely. The grieving process is different for every one. The best thing you can do for yourself is to find support, find coping mechanisms, and stay away from people who try to belittle you for grieving.

Art projects and articles on grief and grieving